cellular memories

I would love to share my experience... of Hladina method ..Actually I have been talking about this- to all my friends -But the power of the written word !

The awareness is growing...here is a short (ahem ahem ) account of my experience with the Hladina Method.
My life was very much a blank slate... or so i thought.. as my mind had no recollection of my past..
but strangely my present was somehow a set of repeatitive experiences that I was circumnavigating through,again and again...when i read about Sonjadevi's offerring of Releasing Childhood Trauma....Something clicked... I was intrugued but skeptic...nonetheless..
When Sonjadevi explained what the process would involve... i caught myself thinking "Yeah.Right! As if I can be hypnotised into letting go, as if i have anything to let go. "

To understand my skepticism- we have to go back..My dad always instilled in me the scientific frame of mind,cautioning me of the absurdity of the innumerable superstitions that encompass the indian culture and religions.It is a way of life in India to believe everything and anything;he had warned , so I was skeptic of this therapy as you might suspect.
When I talked to Sonjadevi, she encouraged me to experience the session- as I lay down,
and Sonjadevi talked me though the layers of the heart ... my mind had such a powerful release of memories-memories i never knew existed..

My dad leaving the house after any and every heated argument - disowning the family -mother, wife and children.. as I lay there on the bed and connected within myself -
I saw the child I was then, sitting outside on the first floor balcony ,and looking out to the road,watching Dad drive off on his Vespa, willing him to look back , but he didn't !

This was the first time in all my adult life - as far as i could remember ,that - my mind had this sad but enlightening flashback. I couln't beleive the connectivity of the Hladina Method -
I had uncovered the bone of contention ,within my present relationship,then.
As a kid, I had absorbed these childhood experiences and in my adult life- all friendships and relationships were troubleshooted through this tool that I had picked up as a kid.
I would threaten to leave or actually leave ,everytime the boat rocked!
My life then , had become a series of such patterns, I never had the slightest idea that the present was all but a reflection of the past experiences..
After this session, I never repeated this pattern,as much as I was tempted to out of pure habit- i had an insight into the past connections and reflections of my spirit- I understood that my body and mind was kicking into default reactions- the reactions i had picked up as a kid - as son as it gets slightly difficult to handle- just leave teh situation - leave the relationship or friendship behind- just walk away- Needless to say , this changed my life, my life was so much clearer and easier to comprehend and live through day to day difficult moments...


The second session I had with Sonjadevi, was an even more profound one, in its impact.
For years, I had consulted every Medical expert in the field of Urology, I had gone from Allopathy - to homeopathy - to acupuncture to aromatherapy - basically every Xray and ultrasound revealed nothing amiss.
Noone seemed to have a cure to my chronic bladder pain and my inability to pass urine comfortably.I was eventually advised by the Urologist expert in this field that i should look into meditation and that it was my only hope.
During the session led by Sonjadevi, I had another life changing flashback.I saw the little kid that i was ,hiding behind the sofa all day for fear of a beating from Dad. Somehow, the slightest reasons were enough to incite him to beat us black and blue.Such was his terror ,that when I did something that I though t would perturb him, I would hide from him behind the sofa or undr teh bed,and never come out till evening or until he stopped looking for me-
In the process, I would not even go to teh bathroom,for fear of being spotted,and hold in my urine all day whilst safe in the hiding place- when he would give up looking for me at the end of the day , I would finally relent and visit the bathroom.

In school and at other social occasions my friends often teased me,at the enormity of my bladder.
I prided myself in the same as an adult.Such was my unease that it was bordering on a phobia- that I could not bring myself to use the public bathrooms.My life was very difficult as the pain and inability to pass urine was so random that I could not ever be sure as to when it would strike next.
But after the insight gained from Sonjadevi's Hladina method sessions, I understood my body's default reaction in a stressful time was that my mind triggerred a memory from past repeating my body's shutdown process - as if i was once again hiding from him and needed to hold in my nature calls. After this lifechanging experience , I never faced another painfull trip to the toilet or any other chronic pain related to my bladder - such was the power of the session - that all chronic pain evaporated overnight after the Hladina session.

My life has been transformed for the better , i cannot thank Sonjadevi enough for her work in this field. Please continue this therapy and enlighten other lives that need your work to make a difference in their lives.I will always be gratefull for your guidance and warm help.

Why I didn’t do Grad.Parties ?

At work today my collegue showed me an advert announcing an “all women Graduation Party”.
It went on to say “Is there something you would have liked to celebrate as a personal achievement,
But were never able to for some reason or another?This does not have to be an educational achievement.
If so come along and have some fun.”

It got me thinking on the need to commemorate the milestones in our lives if only to comprehend the
Place in the map where we have now arrived.And if you don’t know where you have been or which milestone you are at,how is one meant to traverse ahead? Then why didn’t I aim for the sense of closure by attending my undergraduate or postgrad. Ceremonies.

I think the answer lies in the lack of a sense of achievement and self doubt.
During my school years,I felt I had been a good student and whilst average,I never considered
myself lacklustre. Things changed when I started high school though and my family wanted me to
choose Medicine as my career inorder to redeem myself as any self respecting Indian girl would !
Firstly,girls are not encouraged to go further in their studies as ultimately they are expected to pick up
the baton of household chores from their mothers.Secondly,any career part from medicine and engineering
is looked upon with contempt,as artists are deemed broke and basically any self respecting Punjabi family would
never accept a girl’s hand in marriage who writes “artist” in front of Job ,on Marriage CV’s.

So inspite of a total lack of interest in Medicine,it was chosen as my career for me in high school.
After an entire semester of being caught dozing during lectures & ultimately receiving a fail in physics and chemistry,my grandad was summoned by my School Careers’ advisor.”I am not going anywhere,if anyone needs to meet me ,they can come and see me at home.I begged and cajoled him into the meeting.For my grandfather’s
Generation it was the man’s pererogative when and where he negotiates with the woman,and the role reversal in this situation understandably upset his conditioned self.

The ultimatum I received was either you choose economics else don’t bother with the studies at all.
I felt another redemption twang and succumed without a fair fight.In retrospect I often visualise “what if I had stood up for what I believed in and fought for my freedom to choose ARTS as a career then?”
That one decision would have steered my life in a whole different course.Perhaps my discontent with
my grades during graduation and later postgrad. Oscillates from that one pivotal fight I never fought!

During undergard,the tensions between my brother (who sufferred from manic depression) escalated
to the point that during my second year finals,he switched off the electricity from the mains.In response
inspite of having prepared my subject for a few weeks,I left the examination hall within the first 20 minutes
without having written a single word.My reasoning then was,”this will show him not to mess with me!”
The result of this self sulk was a year of penance in the form of reappearing for the second year exams the following year.So when the graduation happened,all my batchmates had already passed out the year before.

So in direct action replay of that exam walk out,I bunked the grad.party too.
Few years later when it came to the postgrad party,I felt I had majorly underachieved my potential,
so out of shame and guilt ,I bunked the postgrad party.Shame at the lack of commitment I displayed
towards my chosen dissertation topic which I eventually quit and copied of a friends dissertation
and passed it off as my own.Guilt at coming on a less than perfect score on the assessment.