Harry that Potter where are you?

Mystery shrouds woman's death
Our Correspondent

Mr Surjit Singh Grewal, SP (Detective), said he had verified that the part of the fan from which the body was found suspended could actually take the load of the body. In fact, he said, he asked the DSP, Mr Sarabjit Singh, to hang on to the fan and later he himself did the same. "And I weigh 85 kg," he said. Besides, to rule out any foul play the police requested the Civil Hospital to set up a three-member board for the post-mortem. He said no written complaint had been received from the girl's side against the in-laws.

SAS Nagar, November 18'2003
The needle of suspicion in the death of Harjot Kaur, a 25-year-old married woman, turned in different directions here today. The police continued investigations even as a post-mortem was performed by a board of doctors at the Civil Hospital here.

The body was cremated today.

The body of Harjot Kaur, who was married to Mr Ajwinder Pal Singh, who is doing MDS from Bangalore, was found hanging from a fan in a bathroom in her in-law's house in Phase IIIB2 here last morning. The couple had come to attend the wedding of Mr Ajwinder Pal Singh's brother.

Mr Ajwinder Pal Singh, who was sitting in a car with a crepe bandage on his right foot in the Civil Hospital, where the post-mortem was being performed, kept silent when mediapersons tried to question him. Harjot's father-in-laws, Mr D.P.S. Sandhu, who was also at the hospital, said it was a happily married couple and had planned to go to the USA. He gave no details about the circumstances relating to the death.

A board of three doctors — Dr G.S. Bedi, who headed the board, Dr Jai Singh and Dr S. Suri — was constituted at the request of the police to conduct the post-mortem. Such a board is usually not set up in cases of suicide.

The post-mortem examination was exhaustive and went on for more than two hours. The viscera had been sent to Patiala for chemical examination.

It is learnt that the death probably took place 24 hours before the post-mortem. A mark due to hanging was reportedly observed on the neck of the deceased.

A maternal uncle of Harjot, Mr Anmol Rattan Sidhu, president of the Punjab and Haryana Bar Association, said today that he was told by Mr Ajwinder Pal Singh that he and Harjot had come late to Mohali after the function. Ajwinder went to sleep. When he got up in the morning, he found that the door of the bathroom was locked and Harjot was not in the room. He thought that his wife was having a bath and came downstairs.

Mr Sidhu said Ajwinder also told him that when Harjot did not come downstairs for a long time, he went to the bathroom and broke open the door. He found the body of Harjot hanging from the fan by a dupatta.

Mr Sidhu said it was a "love but also arranged" marriage. About Rs 35 lakh was spent on the wedding. Harjot's father was a prominent lawyer and her grandfather was a former MLA.

It is learnt that members of the family of Harjot, including her mother, living in Sector 18, Chandigarh, were told about the death around 11 am. The police was reported to have been informed about the death around 3 pm.

Certain questions arose during the investigation. First, could the part of the fan from which the dupatta was hanging take the load of the body (more than 50 kg)? Second, why was the police informed about the death late?

Co-existence

Past present and future,..all existing on the same plane..
causing trauma
and relief,
pain
and pleasure,
in one moment.
how is it then that we forget the pain when we laugh and forget the joy when we cry?
what is this mystery
if all goes together and is never apart
then why the pain
where is the grief
we all are that one and not, at the same time
we meet our shadows in this lifetime and
we part from our many selves
even in death as in birth,
there is no separation
as the whole that we came from and the whole that we go to ..
will always remain just that..
whole....
nothing can be added,
nor subtracted,
from that which will continue to exist
what may change though is the mind
within.
that continues to analyse details
minute by minute
with this change comes
either
pain
or joy
death
or birth
Jeremy Naydler says, "Our modern belief in progress has encouraged us to discard the past, thinking that we have moved beyond it and superseded it. The past, however, has a tendency to haunt the present, and it is perhaps not so easy to shake off as we think.This is to say the past belongs to and interpenetrates the present in subtle and powerful ways. It is the 'unconscious of the present' and our neglect of it becomes a neglect of an aspect of our wholeness."

history of the dead

I have been exploring how to keep the memories of my sister, Harry, alive, especially in the week of my cousin sister's wedding which synchronicitily fell on harry's death anniversary, 17th november. I am aware that in the joint family that I exist in, the general decorum is that of meting ignorance towards any eccentricity that might wear it's head up, higher or lower than the agreed benchmark. Upon my return to the family home after an obsolence of three years, the same being the time interval between harry's passing, i was quite surprised to encounter the resistance of the entire family in talking about the one who has gone before us. This resistance transpired into an absence of her photograph from the altar in the living room , where my dad's picture hung with my paternal grandmother's(who incidentally passed away three years after harry..so in order of precedence...her portrait should have followed harry's), leaving the obvious vacuum in the hall as there was the missing portrait of the one in question, to my fresh foreign returned, eyes.

After having a healthy discussion with my aunt and my mother over this dilema that continues to haunt me, i came upon an epiphany..which i haven't written about earlier.but when i read this essay,"Silence and Invisibility" by Giti Thadani in a collection of  lesbian writing,"facing the mirror", it brought home the realisation, what is not talked about, is forgotten. "Ignorance.When something is ignored, it will gradually lose any vitality it once had, first becoming invisible and then finally disappearing altogether. If memory is not passed on in some coherent way, that which is not remembered no longer exists, and it can then be said that it never existed."

Whilst thinking about those who have gone before us, there are many tribes, who practice this ritual of not naming the dead. They believe that the souls get perturbed in their abodes and if they are not named, these souls would continue to exist in another dimension and not be invited into ours. William Mcdonough in his book, Cradle to Cradle, talks about the ultimate recycling practiced by a north indian tribe of bengal or orissa, where the ashes of the dead are cooked with a ceremonial dinner, which is eaten by all.
I feel the stark absence of harry's picture and even her name from daily conversations in the family, and when i bring up a happier memory in a bid to celebrate her life and acknowledge her presence in this family house for twenty five years of her life, it is greeted by an awkward pause or requests to leave the negative energy of her be and not invite it back into this house. This brings me to realise how harry's suicide and passing over has been swept under the 'great big indian carpet'.
John Berger, says this in "Ways of Seeing",  "When we see a landscape, we situate ourselves in it. If we 'saw' the art of the past, we would situate ourselves in history. When we are prevented from seeing it, we are being deprived of the history which belongs to us. Who benefits from this deprivation? In the end, the art of the past is being mystified because a privileged  minority is striving to invent a history which can retrospectively justify the role of the ruling classes, and such a justification can no longer make sense in modern times. And so, inevitably it mystifies."

YES YOU CAN !

Hindu woman performs last rites of husband

Posted by 498A_Crusader on July 23, 2007

Patna, July 23: A Hindu woman from Bihar has broken age-old Hindu traditions by performing the last rites of her husband, a ritual usually done by male members of the family, describing him as her dearest friend.

Geetu Avinash, in her 50s, Sunday performed the ’shradh ceremony’ (ritual performed after a death) of her husband Avinash Kumar at Ara, about 60 km from here.

Kumar died of cancer July 10 in a Kolkata hospital. Geetu lit the pyre of her husband in Kolkata in the presence of her brothers-in-law, their sons and other relatives.

“I performed the last rites of my husband because of my love for him,” she told IANS Sunday. She said her relationship with Avinash was more than a “husband-wife relationship”. “We were more like true friends.”

She also placed a copy of the book “Train to Pakistan”, authored by Khushwant Singh, at the ’shradh ceremony’ in place of religious books.

“Avinash wanted to read the book when he was battling cancer but I could not fulfil his last wish as the book was not available,” she said.

After performing the last rites in Kolkata, she returned to Ara to perform all other rituals.

“I performed all the rituals to show the world that a woman can do everything,” she said.

Action Replay

Woman hangs herself to death
Tribune News Service

Mohali, April 21
A 30-year-old married woman allegedly committed suicide by hanging herself in her house in Sector 69 here today. The deceased, Pooja Sandhu, was found hanging from the ceiling fan by her hudband, Vipin Sandhu.

Though family members of the girl have expressed suspicion in the suicide, a police official said further action would be taken on the basis of a post-mortem report and any written complaint forwarded by the girl’s family.

The deceased, her husband and their four-year-old daughter had come from a marriage party late last night and reportedly had a tiff before going to sleep.

In the morning when Pooja did not open the door, the husband had to break open the door and found her hanging from the ceiling fan.

Inquest proceedings under Section 174 of the CrPC have been initiated in the case.